The Way to Love by Anthony De Mello

Most of the problems in our lives are due to the way we are programmed or the way we interpret day-to-day problems. Goals, themselves, can be problems because if one is attached to a specific goal, he or she will not be happy until the goal is fully achieved. In addition, if the goal is achieved, the person might not be very pleased. Even if he or she is happy, that happiness will not last long. These goals only bring short-term happiness. In this blog, I will talk about what this book, The Way to Love by Anthony De Mello, briefly mentions about attachment and desire.

Desire is suffering. It is really suffering. Most people need to suffer in order to achieve their desires or goals. For example, through my GMAT study journey, I have suffered because I have given up some of my personal time and entertainment time. Yet, I gained some weight. Additionally, my GMAT score did not improve for consecutive six months. I was very frustrated. I still did not succeed. I am still trying to improve my score. Even though I went through a 2-month GMAT course, my score kept decreasing. The desire to get a high GMAT score and apply for business schools have taken me through seasons of suffering.

Being attached to a person or a thing such as a goal or a piece of painting will not make you much happier when your goal is fully achieved or will make the situation more painful when someone close to you dies. In general, you do not necessarily need to be attached to your goals in order to achieve them. Sometimes the goal, itself, is not suited to you and letting go of it can be very difficult. Have goals, but not attachments.